Words with P.R. (Edition 9) - Dealing with Loss

By Patricia Rogers | Posted Monday, May 16, 2022

Seeing yourself how other people see you

INTRO — LOSS

My sister and I have been joking about how in the last 3 years time has become a "mind fuck". Things that happened in 2019 feel like 3 weeks ago and things that happened last year feel like it was years ago. It is mind-blowing how much the world has changed in such a short time.

In my orbit, I have experienced a lot of loss. And because of how I am built, I try to just pick my head up, swim forward, and try not to look back. But I do have to take a second and accept that life has been fucking hard, and I have been doing all I can to get through.

This edition is dedicated to the loved ones I have lost since the pandemic started: my creative writing teacher Ms. Bremmer, my Grandmother, Cousin Sameemah, Natalia, Kenny, and my high school love Deshon. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of all of you and what you meant to my life. Your friends, family, students, and loved ones are forever in my thoughts and prayers.

If you are reading this I urge you to please let people know what they mean to you while you can. You never know when it will be the last time you hear from them.

PICKS — NOSTALGIA & REREADING HARRY POTTER

I am normally a pretty nostalgic person, but I have to admit that the heartbreak of loss led me to want to go back in time when things in my life seemed perfect.

One of those safe spaces for me growing up besides wrestling was always Harry Potter. What made HP special to me growing up was being able to get lost in the wizarding world. Learn lessons about the hard choices in life between love and hate, good and evil, easy and right, and countless others.

So my sister and are in the middle of rereading the series, it would be her first time and my third or fourth. The big thing for me is the message of bravery and pushing through the hardships for the greater good. If you love watching the Harry Potter movies (I mean, come on, when is it not on TV) then I highly recommend reading the book series. JK Rowling can be problematic, but the magic she delivered with the books can be considered life-changing. 

LESSONS — LIVING UP TO HOW PEOPLE SEE YOU

One of the most influential voices in our lives is the ones that are inside our heads. The one that speaks to us and determines how we see ourselves. I think that is why people loved Issa Rae's bathroom mirror raps where she would motivate herself to be the best person that she could be for herself. 

I recently lost my high school love who since the day we met put me on a pedestal. He thought I was the prettiest, smartest, flyest, and the most amazing girl he ever knew. And I loved that at the time when we were both teenagers. We broke up 14 years ago and he never changed his view of me. I hadn't seen him since high school graduation but we kept in touch by a phone call a few times a year. And he still talked about the positive impact I had on his life, and how much he wished he’d had it all this time.

I have to admit, I took him and this light he saw me in for granted. I used to be annoyed that my ex was still trying to get with me or saw me as the 15-year-old girl he fell in love with. But now, that he is gone and I have dealt with so much emotion over the years, I would give anything to hear his voice tell me how perfect I am. Losing Deshon has been understandably heartbreaking but it did come with a lesson for me, to never take people for granted.

At his funeral, I was reunited with high school friends. Sucked that it takes a funeral to bring us back together but it was nice to see them. It was comforting to me when we all went back to the same dynamic of friendship, and we all had the same personalities even all these years later. We all claimed to make sure we kept in touch after the service, and well knew that probably wasn’t true. However, it was nice to come together in Deshon’s memory and it was just like it would have been back in high school. 

TIPS — HOW MUCH IS TOO SEXY?

“Sex sells” I have been hearing that since I was younger, and grew up through sex tape scandals, and the birth of OnlyFans. As a woman, there is this pressure to appeal to the male gaze for success. It is unfair and yet it is also a way that women have been able to feel empowered. I have been glad to see society start to change its views on sex work, strippers, and women being naked because they like being naked. But then there is that thin line of, how much is too sexy?

My tip for social media and brand marketing when it comes to sex appeal is to do what makes you feel comfortable. I personally use the motto that I dont post or engage in content that I would not be proud to show my Dad. But that is me. Obviously, there will be influencers who pose in lingerie for work and must have parents that are okay with it, which is why I say it depends on each individual’s comfort level. 

Your followers appreciate and follow you for the authenticity of your account. If you do not feel comfortable being “sexy” it will not resonate. So when you do take that step just make sure it is something you want to do 

SHOUTOUT — BATTLE CLUB PRO — SWOLE'S PROMO

4/20 this year, I went outside to Brooklyn for Battle Club Pro’s Women Crush Wednesday wrestling show. The all-female card featured some of indie wrestling’s darlings like Trish Adora and Willow Nightengale. The highlight for me however was being able to see Big Swole in another main even title match defending her Battle Club Pro championship. After the hard-hitting match against Trish, Swole cut a promo that nearly brought tears to my eyes. There have been many moments in the last couple of months that made me so incredibly happy to be a wrestling fan, and this was one of them.

Swole is a black woman in wrestling who has always been outspoken, and unapologetic about the experience of being a black female wrestler. Her well-known departure from All Elite Wrestling & falling out with owner Tony Khan allowed showed us just how hard it can be. Swole however has always held her head high and been a voice for those that need it in the industry.

Here is some of her groundbreaking promo:

“I’ll be champ forever

Can’t Nobody can come in here and take what I take

Can’t Nobody can come in here and do what I do

Can’t nobody come in here and wrestle how I wrestle

OKAY 

Except for Trish Fucking Adora

You want to talk about a diamond in the rough?

You want to talk about a woman that’s paid her dues?

You want to talk about a woman that cares for this business?

That was just one

When it comes to winning and defending this

Here as ya’ll champion

I’m going to give the people that have no say

I’m going to give the people that have been loyalty

The ones that whose not trying to turn their back or change

We are icons

We are woman

We are idols to the younger generation, the children who are watching us

We will be the change because that is what battle club is all about

Please give it up to Trish Adora

I’m going to say this

Battle Club is one of the only places that actually believed in me

Joakim is one of the only promoters that flew me out and gave me the time and day 

I owe so much to this man.

I owe my career to this man

If it wasn't for God putting me in his ear, I would not be here 

So I thank Joakim,

I thank (Hard to hear)

I thank my all-mighty father

Ya’ll have a good night”

I am excited to see what Big Swole continues to teach and bring to all women in wrestling.

Words with P.R. (Edition 8) - Wrestling is a Love Story

By Patricia Rogers | Posted Monday, May 9, 2022

"Wrestling is a love story,” - Cody Rhodes

INTRO

I am back from Dallas and feeling better than ever. I had the pleasure of going to Texas for WWE Wrestlemania as a part of my women’s wrestling podcast, Those Wrestling Girls.

If I had one word to describe what wrestling fans call “Mania Week” is passion.

When hoards of fans travel to the host city of the biggest wrestling events in the world, the streets are filled with people dressed in t-shirts adorned with their favorite stars, and championship belts.

It is almost like everyone there is buzzing with excitement. There is love in the air because we are all there for the same reason, the love of pro wrestling.

This was the first time my friend and co-host Krista B. and I were able to travel outside of New York for Mania Week. The entire trip was one of firsts, and I can say it was the best weekend of my life. I got to meet a lot of friends that I have known online for years for the first time. Including other black wrestling podcasters, and tastemakers in the industry. We were able to have fun, network, and make unforgettable memories including working out of the press box, floor seats to see my all-time favorite, WWE Hall of Famer and Texas native Stone Cold Steve Austin (TWICE!), and the bonding that took place at the after after-parties.

I am already planning the next trip to Los Angeles, California for 2023. 

MEET 

KIPP AMP School teacher, musician, & Wrestling Club founder Mr. Perry. Okay, his name is Victor but I was introduced to him by my mother as that so for my sister and me, he will always be Mr. Perry.

He is a great sixth-grade teacher and one that many of us wish we had when we were younger. Like myself, he grew up a wrestling fan and there were times that he did not have other people with whom he was able to talk about it. My mother introduced us, and we have been good friends ever since.

I was honored when he sent me his proposal to start a wrestling club in his school, KIPP AMP Brooklyn. Students can come to his classroom on lunch breaks to watch matches and documentaries. After the club was approved by the school he posted pictures and videos of his students enjoying marquee matches and it soon went viral. Everyone praised the young teacher for bringing wrestling to his students, and how fans of all ages and backgrounds wished they had a teacher like Mr. Perry. 

Not only were other fans inspired by what Mr. Perry was doing, but so were WWE superstars themselves. It was not long before one of the biggest WWE superstars in the world reached out to Mr. Perry asking to visit his club. She is someone who has had a passion for wrestling since watching WWE for the first time at 10 years old. Sasha Banks had to face many obstacles growing up and has been very vocal about how much wrestling has saved her life and given her a purpose. So I can only imagine what it meant to her to see Mr. Perry’s students enjoying a club like that.

“One day while I was in the middle of class teaching, I got a Twitter notification and I briefly looked and saw that it was from WWE. I had to keep calm while in class and after class, I read the message and saw that Sasha really wanted to come to see The Wrestling Club… Never did I actually think that could happen. From that interaction on we made it happen. I have so much love for WWE for working with me and the school to create such a beautiful moment that will live forever in the lives of my students. I've gotten phone calls, text messages, emails, from students telling me how much it meant to them,” says Victor Perry.

The students lost their minds and were so moved by her visit. Banks answered questions from the kids who were eloquent, respectful, and filled with joy. I think the most memorable part for me was seeing how much it meant to the kids but also what it meant to Sasha Banks. She kept thanking Mr. Perry and the entire moment was genuine and emotional.

He went on to share with me, “Meeting Sasha I realized quickly that she was like the sister I never had. She's so easy to talk to. She was so warm and inviting and you could see the joy all over her face. I think this moment not only meant a lot for my kiddos but it also meant a lot to her. She got to dance and sing to her iconic theme song, answer and give some insightful words of wisdom and take the best photos ever with The Wrestling Club. She's inspiring a whole generation, the future. Not many people can say that! I'm really happy we could make this possible. I hope we can continue to have others stop by and hang out with the kids in the club. I want The Wrestling Club to be the coolest club ever."

Relive the entire experience with me exclusively on Those Wrestling Girls Patreon. Thank you, Sasha Banks, WWE, KIPP AMP Brooklyn, and Mr. Perry for making that moment happen for those kids. Glad I was able to experience that. 

SHOUT-OUT

The University of Orange, the free-people university and non-profit organization based in Orange, New Jersey is gearing up for its annual music festival this month.

The 6th annual Music City Festival takes place from May 13-15 at eight different outdoor venues around the city. Over 50 musicians will be performing in partnership with the following restaurants: D’3Fold, Reddz Bistro & Grill, Sarrah’s Cafe Trinbago, Inner City Cafe, Four City Brewery, Benji’s Taqueria, and Hat City Kitchen.

Performers include Alexandra & Real Music, Asad & King Sykes, Big Naut, Jazz Millionaire, Paul Lombardo & Juliana Carr, Voices in Harmony, Orange All-City Chorus, Orange Concert Choir, and Mighty Marching Tornadoes. 

Music has always been a part of the fabric of Orange, New Jersey. The diversity is showcased at this festival every year bringing the city together in harmony. The festival is sponsored by lead sponsors HANDS Inc., M&T Bank, DAAB Kids, co-sponsors Four City Brewery, NAACP of the Oranges & Maplewood, and Missing Link Music. 

You can sign up to volunteer at the University of Orange’s Music City Festival here. 

LESSONS

Great Love is Never Easy

Growing as a person and learning lessons in life along the way is probably one of my favorite things about life. It kind of makes it all makes sense to me. One thing that I have learned and accepted for the better is that nothing worth having in life will come easy. And this could not be more true when it comes to love. I don’t know if there is such thing as true love, but I do believe that we all have great loves out there that will strike you like a thunderbolt when you least expect it. It will feel intoxicating, and it will be all-consuming. However, it will not be easy. It will feel big, destructive, exuberant, dangerous, and inescapable.

As a writer, I like to think that the storm great love brings into your life is worth it because great love stories are the best stories. And whether we like it or not, the best stories make us laugh, cry, angry, sad, and happy. In real life, not so much. But I will always say that experiencing love in life is a blessing and believe that it is better to have love and loss than to never have loved at all.

SOCIAL MEDIA/BRAND MARKETING TIPS

It’s Okay to Rebrand

The tip this week is probably a little hypocritical as I tend to preach about how important branding is. This means your brand’s tone, voice, colors, logos, and even the font. But I learned that social media is always changing and you have to evolve with the ever-changing strategies. I think it is important to find the balance between trying new things to see what works and also keeping up the brand loyalty you have built with your followers and listeners.

These tips are for those who have not gone to college for social media marketing but for those who are creative up-starts and were brave enough to utilize the free tools at our disposal to start their own brands and companies. We are real people, we change our minds, and a lot of creative fields are fluid. Think about fashion, every year the new It color or fit or length changes with the times. And I think the way we approach social media marketing with our brands should be the same thing. 

So if in your soul, or during a meditation you want to change your logo from yellow to pink or want to start featuring different guests on your show to cater to different communities. This is okay because we all change. That is what is exciting about life.